Last night I went to "Mrs. in Ministry". I guess it pretty much sounds self explanatory, but basically its a ministry for wives of RTS (Reformed Theological Seminary) students that meets every Thursday night for a couple of hours. Chad really wants me to get to know people, which he's right, I need to, so he kind of made me go. But it wasn't so bad. I'll keep going. I was of course the youngest person there and married the least amount of time but I guess I should enjoy being the baby of the bunch for as long as a can. Speaking of which, I was probably the only one without a baby or babies, but that's ok by me!
We opened with singing "Be Thou my Vision". That made me happy. The last time I heard that song was at my wedding. I choose that song as our wedding song before we were even engaged for these lines:
"Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art."
and
"Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all."
A lady I used to work with before I moved literally laughed at me and called me crazy everyday, all day, for wanting to get married (she was married too by the way). I think people think it's their God-given duty to discourage engaged and newly wed couples with dark stories of hardship and woe and blought out any glimor of joy or hope they may have for the future. And then of course after they finish their long discourse, they smile sweetly and say "I'm just giving you advice". I'm sorry, but since when does that qualify as advice?! I don't need to be told that marriage is hard. Anyone can look at the divorce rates and see that! I've lived under my parents roof for 21 years and seen their marriage firsthand. I know that it's going to be hard and you're not always going to feel in love, but is it so wrong to wish for happiness and to believe that marriage can actually be fulfilling and the most joyous experiene this side of heaven? I don't want an average marriage. I want the kind that books are written about. The best - everything that God intended it to be. I want to be able to say on our fiftith anniversary that I've grown to love him a little more every day. Despite the odds and statisics I really, truly believe that's possible. Why? Because I've got some REAL advice:
"Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art."
and
"Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all."
The only way to that kind of marriage is for God to be first in my heart, my treasure - our hearts, our treasure. Whatever befalls, if He is first in our vision, I know we'll make it, not only make it but live happily ever after.
So one thing I learned through this whole engaged, getting married, process is what couples need is advice on how to get through the hard times. Their "reality check" will come soon enough. I'm happy to say mine hasn't yet :)
I really don't know how I got started on this...
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2 comments:
Good blog girly!! You are right on. I think that is one of the biggest reasons for divorce. People get married with these EXPECTATIONS that they have for the other person. The things they do....how they act.....expecting them to make them happy....bring them joy....fill their love tank....you name it. These expectations aren't met, they realize this person isn't the person they thought they were or expected them to be...so they divorce and look for someone else to fullfill their needs or that they "think" can meet their expectations. People will let you down -including your spouse. Our ONLY joy and fullfillment can only come through Christ and Christ alone. Psalm 62:5 says, "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my "expectation" is from Him." Once we turn our focus onto God and not to our spouse, then we can remember the covenant we made to each other and remember that our marriage vows are permanent. Then you are able to work out the hardships and be the helpmeet that God created you to be. No..... marriage isn't easy, but with God being the center of it, it will last a life time.
AMEN! To your blog and you mom's comment! No one can fill us but our creator...those people you speak of that give all that "advice", will be filled with joy in life and marriage when they are filled by the ONE that can fill...good blogging!
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